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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28919037">Heiji befriending a phantom thief</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/writingforFUNandbecauseBoredom/pseuds/writingforFUNandbecauseBoredom'>writingforFUNandbecauseBoredom</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Pigeon [10]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Magic Kaito, 名探偵コナン | Detective Conan | Case Closed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Friendship is Magic, Heiji is the mom friend, Heiji provides, Kaito needs more friends, or the dad friend, that don't want to kill him half the time</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 12:28:29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,107</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28919037</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/writingforFUNandbecauseBoredom/pseuds/writingforFUNandbecauseBoredom</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Who, is really a stray cat.</p><p>One shots of different ways Heiji befriends and slowly drags KID to the side of the law.</p><p>Self indulgent.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Hattori Heiji &amp; Kuroba Kaito | Kaitou Kid</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Pigeon [10]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2060829</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>66</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    
<p></p><div class="">
  <p>“I’m not going to be a detective. I prefer the path of a thief more.” Kaito informs the other dryly.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“But ya deduction’ were on poin’.” </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Still not a good enough reason for me to switch careers.” He practically stabs the boba in his bubble tea drink as he says this, feeling vicious as the conversation topic with the Osakan detective was abrupt and unwarranted. “Besides that, I prefer not to seek out dead bodies as much as I can.” it’s a weak jibe at this point. Would be if it were Kudou Shinichi. As it were, it’s Hattori Heiji who is being nuisance to him. </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>So naturally the other goes on the defensive, eyebrows knitted as he states his case “We don’<em> look</em> for ‘em. They jus’ happen ta be the’e wethe’ we like i’ or na’.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Really they could all have been avoiding this conversation if Kaito had kept his clues to himself, acted like the clueless young lady he had disguised himself to be. But. But.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Besides, it not jus’ the deduc’ion tha’ woul’ make ya a good detective.” Hattori continues. “Ya couldn’ stand by and watch, could’ja?” </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>And that’s the problem. </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Kaito couldn’t. Which is why Hattori Heiji knew he was KID. </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“If it’ the idea ya can’ only be a detective than take an example from Kudou Yusaku.” Hattori continues, which is a good point, Kaito supposes.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>But.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“So be a thief and a detective at the same time?” Kaito drawls his voice and expression as unimpressed as it can get through his disguise.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“That’ easy to solve. Ya can just get help for whateve’ ya looking fo’, cantcha?” </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Oh. Oh he says it so easily.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Involuntarily, a giggle builds out and bursts through him. He has to but the container of the bubble tea away from him on the table so he doesn’t make a mess by crushing it in his hands. Maybe it was the sleep deprived nights. Maybe it’s because of the near death experiences he’s had to repeatedly escape. Maybe it’s because everything was starting to get to him, finally. All the <em>magic</em>.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Hattori, to the detective of the West’s credit, looks entirely unfazed. He tilts his head curiously, eyeing the magician, with something in his eyes. Sympathy? Pity? Kaito doesn’t know but it makes him bristle and snap his head back into the game, his expression schooling themselves into blank features.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“No.” </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“’Y not?” </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“That’s none of your business, Tantei-han.” </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“I thin’ ya and ah both know ah make a lot of thin’s mah business.” the Osakan had the gall to look amused as he said this. As though Kaito was being hilarious. If the detective ever appears in his heists, KID will be vicious.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Well <em>this </em>particular business…” Kaito drawls out “Is not something I’m going to let you in on.” </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>He stands up from the table, ignoring the challenged glint in the others eye. </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“You can pay for the drinks. Bye.” </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>—————————-</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>(A month later)</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>—————————-</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>A folder slaps itself in front of Hattori Heiji, who jolts with a start before looking up to see the haggard appearance of the simple disguised KID. He had been visiting the other on the rooftop during the heists, more so than Kudou Shinichi. Being athletic helped him in reaching the Moonlight Thief first of course, despite the various pranks.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“There is an organization.” KID starts, and Heiji immediately takes out his notebook to start writing down everything.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>—————————-</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“I didn’t want to drag you into this.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Eh, Kudou’s case is similar. Nothin’ I haven’ deal’ with befo’.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“…So those people in the train?…”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Hm? Ah ya mean that? No comment. If Ah’ ain’t gonna tell’em anythin’ about ya than ah ain’ telling ya anythin’ about him.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Yeah, that’s fair…”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“So, ah think ah can go through ol’ police reports to see if similar incidents match up…ya gotta give me a week tho’.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Alright.”</p>
</div>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    
<p></p><div class="">
  <p>“…Oi KID, ‘ow long are ya plannin’ to not speak up?”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Kaito momentarily feels himself freeze up before relaxing. Sheesh, this guy.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Geez Tantei-han why are you always so direct? Even Conan-kun bothers to be discreet.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>At this Heiji looks sheepish, scratching his cheek. Then he pulls up a chair to sit besides Kaito in the cafe, putting his book bag on the side. <em>‘So he managed to get the book he wanted after all’</em> Kaito observes.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“But ya like my ‘onesty. ‘Sides, ah’m actually getting better at that.” </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>He absent mindedly replies at that. “Yeah suppose you are right.” then pauses.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Wait, since when did I tell you I like your honesty?”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Heiji hums “Musta been mutterin’ to yerself.” </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“…”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Kaito was in fact muttering.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“You detectives are so damn nosey.” he deadpans before loudly slurping his boba tea, looking away the hide the embarrassment he feels. Heiji wasn’t supposed to hear <em>that.</em></p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Oh? Were ya actually tryin’ ta hide it?” the Osakan cheekily asks, a large grin forming on his face. “Ne, ne KID?”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“You’re insufferable.” Kaito deadpans. </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Ah know ya love me~”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Ridiculous. </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“How about you just tell me what you lot need from me already so we can get this over with.” Kaito huffs. He hadn’t taken Hattori Heiji for someone who plays around the bush, considering the detectives direct and forward nature.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“…Ah jus’ wanted ta hang out with ya tho’?” </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Kaito blinks, glancing at the detective from under his own baseball cap.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Dark ocean eyes blink back in confusion, as though Kaito said the strangest thing.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“…Huh.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Heiji then chuckles. “What, nevah hang’ out with friends?”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“I do, actually.” Kaito comments dryly. </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Well. He did. Definitely.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Yer lying. That’ so sad.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>No wait. There is a misunderstanding.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“It’s not like I don’t have friends!” Kaito protests. Aoko counted! And, uh…Keiko? No wait she’s more Aoko’s friend. Akako goes from murder to toying for my own amusement in a blink of an eye, Hakuba….was Hakuba.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Okay so maybe he only considers Aoko a friend.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Heiji sighs.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Besides, even if I don’t have that many friends, that doesn’t make it your job to be mine now, does it?” Kaito drawls, calming down after realizing his outburst. Poker face. Right. Damn it. Don’t hand over your cards to a detective.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Well ah wanna be yer friend tho’.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Kaito thinks he’s slowly losing his sanity.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Tantei-han.” Kaito begins, slowly, in order to ensure the other detective understands. “You’re a detective.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Yea?”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“I’m a thief.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“A harmless one all things considered.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“You realize I don’t shy from bringing harm if it means escape right?”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Well, ya go out of yer way to prevent murder, and have never committed murder before as fa’ ah’m concerned. So yer harmless.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Wow that bar is so low its touching the sand.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Listen” Heiji begins. “S’not like ah attend yer heists anyway, right? And ah nevah mention ya to ta othas.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>He’s not lying.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“So there ain’t a reason why we couldn’ be friends.” a beat, then the other continues. “‘less yer scared of a lil friendship.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“I’m not-” Kaito feels too shaken to speak properly. “I’m not scared! It’s not like you can trap me-”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Ah’m not plannin’ to.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“-So there is no way you can intimidate me.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Wasn’ trying ta.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“…”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“…”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Ugh, yes, we’re friends.” Kaito sighs putting a tired hand over his eyes.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Nice!” Heiji grins. “C’mon! Ah’m gonna show ya the best parts ‘round Osaka!”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>—————————–</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>It’s been about three hours of Kaito getting strung along, Heiji being careful about not revealing him all the while.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Which made him have weird feelings he will not address.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>But overall, it was the least tense human interaction he ever had.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Ah.” Kaito speaks out. “I kind of need to…be somewhere.” he speaks, unsure how to go about, well, <em>leaving.</em></p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Aw a’ight.” Heiji says easily.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>He waits for the catch. It doesn’t come.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Ahou, ah said ah ain’t catchin’ ya!”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Kaito puts his hands up, muttering ‘Sorry sorry’.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Jus’ come visit sometime a’ight?” </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Right.” he mutters and…leaves.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>If that was the right thing to do.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>—————————–</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>The next time he visits he throws an burner phone at Heiji.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“For…better planning.” he explains. Then, he adds “And if you…idk, want to text me sometime?”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>In response, he gets stared at for a long while before a grin breaks across the others face.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Thanks man.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“It’s because we’re friends now or whatever, don’t make it weird.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Ah ain’ makin’ it weird.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Then stop looking at me like that!”</p>
</div>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    
<p></p><div class="">
  <p>[Hattori_Heiji has added you to a groupchat]</p>
  <p>[Hattori_Heiji has changed the groupchats name to {For Easier Communication}]</p>
  <p><strong>Hattori_Heiji:</strong> As the title says.</p>
  <p>[Sera_Masumi has changed their name to Undercover_Lesbian]</p>
  <p>[Haibara_Ai has changed their name to Detective_Sitter_2]</p>
  <p><strong>Detective_Sitter_2:</strong> The privilege of number one goes to Ran.</p>
  <p><strong>Kudou_Shinichi:</strong> Hattori, this is a terrible idea.</p>
  <p><strong>Hattori_Heiji:</strong> I may have miscalculated. But I thought it would be easier to keep track of each other.</p>
  <p><strong>Detective_Sitter_2:</strong> And because you are bored and lonely?</p>
  <p><strong>Hattori_Heiji:</strong> If it's disruptive ya can always turn off the notifications.</p>
  <p><strong>Detective_Sitter_2:</strong> I'm far from complaining.</p>
  <p><strong>Detective_Sitter_2:</strong> I just don't have enough popcorn for this.</p>
  <p><strong>Kudou_Shinichi:</strong> Hattori, know that whatever hell we're about to go through will be your fault</p>
  <p><strong>Undercover_Lesbian:</strong> I checked the members, who is the unknown number? And why is Ran and Sonoko not here?</p>
  <p><strong>Hattori_Heiji:</strong> Because this</p>
  <p><strong>Kudou_Shinichi:</strong> ?</p>
  <p>[Unknown_User has attempted to leave]</p>
  <p>[The Leave option has not been added by the Admin]</p>
  <p>[Unknown_User has been blocked from leaving]</p>
  <p><strong>Undercover_Lesbian:</strong> .</p>
  <p><strong>Undercover_Lesbian:</strong> Is it nii-san?</p>
  <p><strong>Hattori_Heiji:</strong> No.</p>
  <p>[Foreign entities are attempting to hack into Admin privileges]</p>
  <p>[Foreign entities have been blocked and removed]</p>
  <p><strong>Detective_Sitter_2:</strong> ...I think I know who this is.</p>
  <p><strong>Agasa_Hiroshi:</strong> I'm sorry what is this?</p>
  <p>[Foreign entities are attempting to hack into Admin privileges]</p>
  <p>[Foreign entities have been blocked and removed]</p>
  <p><strong>Agasa_Hiroshi:</strong> Oh my. Is this what you needed those firewalls for Hattori-kun?</p>
  <p><strong>Hattori_Heiji:</strong> Yep.</p>
  <p><strong>Unknown_User:</strong> F*ck.</p>
  <p><strong>Kudou_Shinichi:</strong> Who???</p>
  <p><strong>Unknown_User:</strong> Nobody.</p>
  <p><strong>Undercover_Lesbian:</strong> Hattori, the tea.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p><strong>Hattori_Heiji:</strong> Well.</p>
  <p><strong>Unknown_User:</strong> Hattori I will break into your house and steal all the family kendo sticks you have.</p>
  <p><strong>Kudou_Shinichi:</strong> KID???</p>
  <p>[Unknown_User has disconnected]</p>
  <p><strong>Hattori_Heiji:</strong> Welp. Time to make sure the family heirlooms don't get stolen.</p>
  <p><strong>Hakuba_Saguru:</strong> What made you think this was a good idea?</p>
  <p><strong>Hattori_Heiji:</strong> He needs more friends.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p><strong>Hattori_Heiji: </strong>Also he can’t afford to get a new burner phone.</p>
</div>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>WARNING: Underage alcohol consumption, Implied being pushed to drink(don’t do that not nice), Implied forced drinking. Unrealistic depiction of how a drunk person acts because I’ve never got drunk before. Irony because Shinichi canonically drank and Kaito canonically doesn’t drink alcohol.</p><p>Note 1: I’ve never drank alcohol before but if you’re going to do it there are guidelines on how to do it safely for your liver and your own well being, like how much ice, doing it around someone you trust, etc. Please follow those.</p><p>Note 2: There are also guidelines on how to help someone who is more drunk than is advisable or is being forced to drink. I’m sure you can find them on the internet.</p><p>Note 3: Character ages are…like…19. I’ve decided that just now.</p><p>Note 4: No one knows KID’s identity.</p><p>Note 5: At first i was going to be funny but then it kind of got somewhat serious</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p></p><div class="">
  <p>[For Easier Communications]</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p><strong>Undercover_Lesbian: </strong>In case anyone wonders I’m stealing KID to become undercover Lesbians with him.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p><strong>Hattori_Heiji:</strong> So ya were the one stealin’ him from me.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p><strong>Hattori_Heiji:</strong> :(</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p><strong>Undercover_Lesbian: </strong>Noooo not the sad puppy eyes i can feel them all the way from Osaka to Tokyo D:</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p><strong>Undercover_Lesbian: </strong>He says he loves you very much and wished you were here</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p><strong>Hattori_Heiji:</strong> :D </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>[Unknown_User has reconnected]</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p><strong>Unknown_User: </strong>No worries Heiji we can be undercover lesbians together next time for free I’m just doing this one with her as an apology.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p><strong>Hattori_Heiji:</strong> Alright have fun stay safe</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p><strong>Unknown_User:</strong> K mom</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>[Unknown_User has disconnected]</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p><strong>Undercover_Lesbian: </strong>Sometimes I forget you and Kazuha are dating because of how married you act with KID.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p><strong>Hattori_Heiji: </strong>I mean</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p><strong>Hattori_Heiji:</strong> She kind of does the same with him?</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p><strong>Undercover_Lesbian: </strong>???</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p><strong>Undercover_Lesbian:</strong> Wait so you guys adopted him then?</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p><strong>Detective_Sitter_2: </strong>Kaito KID was the feral goblin left on their doorstep as a baby</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p><strong>Undercover_Lesbian: </strong>ijFAVBDKNVD</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p><strong>Undercover_Lesbian: </strong>I have never seen KID look so concerned before I can’t stop wheezing</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p><strong>Undercover_Lesbian:</strong> “Sera that make up is not cheap I’m not about to waste it on a corpse” DAMN</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p><strong>Hattori_Heiji:</strong> Ya probably makin’ him impatient if he’s starting to salt</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p><strong>Undercover_Lesbian: </strong>The level of salt is immeasurable, not as big as Rei-nii-san’s level of salt is though</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p><strong>Undercover_Lesbian: </strong> Anyway yeah KID and I will be gone for a bit just letting y’all know so you don’t worry</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p><strong>Hattori_Heiji: </strong>Tell KID he betta not miss movie night.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p><strong>Undercover_Lesbian:</strong> ;)</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>[Undercover_Lesbian disconnected]</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p><strong>Kudou_Shinichi: </strong>You have movie nights with him?</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p><strong>Hattori_Heiji: </strong> Yeah he’s kind of skittish around others though. </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p><strong>Hattori_Heiji: </strong>Likes to run commentary too and completely distract both of us from what the movie is actually about</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p><strong>Hattori_Heiji:</strong> There would be a murder suspect and KID would be focusing entirely on the backstory of where the victim got that shirt.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p><strong>Kudou_Shinichi: </strong>Somehow I’m not surprised.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p><strong>Hattori_Heiji</strong>: Oh yeah.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p><strong>Hattori_Heiji:</strong> He mentioned that he wants you to marry Ran already so he has better clothing options when disguising as you</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p><strong>Kudou_Shinichi:</strong> .</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p><strong>Detective_Sitter_2: </strong>See Kudou? You see?</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p><strong>Detective_Sitter_2: </strong>We’re all in agreement.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p><strong>Detective_Sitter_2: </strong>Your taste in clothing is horrible.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p><strong>Detective_Sitter_2:</strong> I’m still remembering what you wore as a child and I’m so glad I set them on fire.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p><strong>Kudou_Shinichi:</strong> Didn’t mom get mad at you for that?</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p><strong>Detective_Sitter_2:</strong> She said ‘I wasn’t expecting him to wear it 24/7′</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p><strong>Kudou_Shinichi:</strong> okay but KID’s one to talk considering his getup</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>[Undercover_Lesbian reconnected]</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p><strong>Undercover_Lesbian:</strong> KID wants me to tell you his predecessor was to blame</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p><strong>Undercover_Lesbian:</strong> And I agree because this guy has great taste in clothing dayum</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p><strong>Kudou_Shinichi:</strong> So he’s not going to bother denying his actual age?</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p><strong>Undercover_Lesbian: </strong>He says ‘It’s either this fact gets out or the false rumor of me having terrible taste spreads’</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p><strong>Detective_Sitter_2: </strong>I see he has his priorities straightened out.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p><strong>Undercover_Lesbian: </strong>Yep.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p><strong>Undercover_Lesbian: </strong>Kay gotta go we’re in the party bye.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>[Undercover_Lesbian disconnected]</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p><strong>Hattori_Heiji:</strong> Sho’d we question wha’ they’re doing at a party?</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p><strong>Kudou_Shinichi:</strong> I’m not getting involved.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p><strong>Kudou_Shinichi:</strong> Doctor’s and girlfriend’s orders.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p><strong>Hattori_Heiji:</strong> That’s fair ig</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p><strong>Detective_Sitter_2: </strong>The one time y’all listen.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>————————————-</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>[Undercover_Lesbian reconnected]</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p><strong>Undercover_Lesbian: </strong>Today was glorious.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p><strong>Undercover_Lesbian:</strong> Except for when KID had to deal with some pervert</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p><strong>Undercover_Lesbian: </strong>But it was great because KID whacked them with his high heels.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p><strong>Undercover_Lesbian: </strong>And we now have evidence of drug dealings that happen in the casino.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>[Hattori_Heiji has reconnected]</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p><strong>Hattori_Heiji:</strong> Nice but y’all really went and busted a crime rin’ while here ah am studyin’ for the next exam.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p><strong>Undercover_Lesbian:</strong> You run into murder every other day! Leave some of the glory to us!</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>[Unknown_User has reconnected]</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p><strong>Unknown_User: </strong>making my way downtown to Osaka with some GIFTS</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Undercover_Lesbian: Wait- weren’t you drunk?</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p><strong>Hattori_Heiji:</strong> .</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p><strong>Hattori_Heiji: </strong>He’s what?</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p><strong>Unknown_User: </strong>I’m not drunk!</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p><strong>Unknown_User: </strong>I’m just weirdly buzzy and need an emotional support Heiji</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p><strong>Unknown_User:</strong> I have many shiny things </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p><strong>Hattori_Heiji:</strong> Where are you right now?</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p><strong>Unknown_User:</strong> Green onion</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p><strong>Undercover_Lesbian:</strong> Ah.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p><strong>Hattori_Heiji: </strong>Turn on your location so I can find you</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p><strong>Unknown_User:</strong> Okaaaayyyy Just for you and Kazuha though.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p><strong>Hattori_Heiji: </strong>Yeah Kazuha’s gonna yell at ya</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p><strong>Unknown_User: </strong>D:</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p><strong>Undercover_Lesbian: </strong>To be fair, the situation kind of forced him to do that.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p><strong>Unknown_User: </strong>They were reaaaaally pushy.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p><strong>Hattori_Heiji: </strong>I’m not leaving you and him along together after this.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p><strong>Undercover_Lesbian:</strong> That’s fair.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p><strong>Unknown_User:</strong> I didn’t wanna drink m’sorry</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p><strong>Hattori_Heiji: </strong>It’s okay just stay where you are so I can find you and get ya home.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p><strong>Unknown_User:</strong> homes’ nice.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p><strong>Unknown_User:</strong> I gotcha shiny things.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p><strong>Hattori_Heiji: </strong>that’s nice KID. </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p><strong>Hattori_Heiji:</strong> Found’im. </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>————————————-</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>[Hattori_Heiji has reconnected] </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p><strong>Hattori_Heiji:</strong> <em>@ Undercover_Lesbian</em> so, Kazuha wants to talk have a word with ya.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p><strong>Hattori_Heiji: </strong>KID is doing okay.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p><strong>Undercover_Lesbian:</strong> Oh thank god</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p><strong>Hattori_Heiji:</strong> But he says he’s not going to be an undercover lesbian with you to bars or casinos again.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p><strong> Hattori_Heiji: </strong>and those shiny things were a bunch of spoons and shiny cups, which you’re gonna help up smuggle back.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p><strong>Undercover_Lesbian: </strong>that’s fair.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>[Unknown_User has reconnected]</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p><strong>Unknown_User:</strong> We can still hang out. I just don’t want to see an alcoholic drink again.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p><strong>Unknown_User: </strong>That’s the first and last time I will ever drink.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p><strong>Kudou_Shinichi:</strong> You never drank before?</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p><strong>Unknown_User: </strong>No I just turned 19 that’s too soon.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p><strong>Kudou_Shinichi:</strong> .</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p><strong>Hattori_Heiji: </strong>.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p><strong>Undercover_Lesbian:</strong> .</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p><strong>Detective_Sitter_2: </strong>.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p><strong>Agasa_Hiroshi: </strong>.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p><strong>Unknown_User:</strong> What?</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p><strong>Kudou_Shinichi:</strong> Nothing.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>————————————-</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>[Hakuba_Saguru has reconnected]</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p><strong>Hakuba_Saguru:</strong> I looked away for three days.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>[Unknown_User has reconnected]</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p><strong>Unknown_User: </strong>And what were you doing?</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p><strong>Hakuba_Saguru:</strong> There were a string of robberies. Busy getting them caught.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>[Kudou_Shinichi has reconnected]</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p><strong>Kudou_Shinichi: </strong>Also ended up accidentally being romantic with a criminal</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p><strong>Unknown_User:</strong> Spill The Tea</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>[Hattori_Heiji has reconnected]</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p><strong>Hattori_Heiji:</strong> No! No tea for him.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p><strong>Unknown_User: </strong>But mom! D:</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p><strong>Hattori_Heiji:</strong> &gt;:|</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p><strong>Unknown_User:</strong> okay fine :/</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>[Hattori_Heiji has disconnected]</p>
</div>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p></p><div class="">
  <p>
    <span class="">[Kudou_Shinichi entered the group chat]</span>
  </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>
    <span class="">[Kudou_Shinichi has added Unknown_User_2, Unknown_User_3, Unknown_User_4 to the chat]</span>
  </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>
    <span class=""><strong>Kudou_Shinichi:</strong> Due to circumstances I've decided it'd be best if we could have other allies in the chat as well.</span>
  </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>
    <span class=""><strong>Unknown_User_3:</strong> Hello.</span>
  </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>
    <span class="">[Unknown_User_2 changed their username to Rye]</span>
  </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>
    <span class=""><strong>Unknown_User_3:</strong> .</span>
  </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>
    <span class="">[Unknown_User_3 has attempted to leave the chat]</span>
  </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>
    <span class=""><strong>Rye:</strong> Hello to you as well Furuya-kun.</span>
  </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>
    <span class=""><strong>Unknown_User_3:</strong> Shut up.</span>
  </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>
    <span class=""><strong>Rye:</strong> Love you too.</span>
  </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>
    <span class=""><strong>Unknown_User_3:</strong> I'm going to shatter you like glass.</span>
  </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>
    <span class=""><strong>Unknown_User:</strong> With all due respect Meitantei.</span>
  </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>
    <span class=""><strong>Unknown_User:</strong> I think you're pushing your luck.</span>
  </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>
    <span class=""><strong>Unknown_User_3:</strong> Oh so this is where the jailbait is on his phone</span>
  </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>
    <span class=""><strong>Detective_Sitter_2:</strong> Jailbait?</span>
  </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>
    <span class=""><strong>Hattori_Heiji:</strong> Wait.</span>
  </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>
    <span class=""><strong>Hattori_Heiji:</strong> You know KID?</span>
  </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>
    <span class=""><strong>Unknown_User_3:</strong> He free loads my apartment sometimes.</span>
  </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>
    <span class=""><strong>Unknown_User:</strong> Rood! I take care of Haro for you!</span>
  </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>
    <span class=""><strong>Unknown_User_3:</strong> Taking care of Haro is a blessing rather than actual work</span>
  </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>
    <span class=""><strong>Unknown_User_3:</strong> How dare you lie otherwise?</span>
  </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>
    <span class=""><strong>Unknown_User:</strong> Understandable have a nice day</span>
  </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>
    <span class=""><strong>Undercover_Lesbian:</strong> Nii-san was always into the ones that can shatter him like glass</span>
  </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>
    <span class=""><strong>Unknown_User_3:</strong> Right.</span>
  </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>
    <span class=""><strong>Unknown_User_3:</strong> @Kudou let me out of here.</span>
  </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>
    <span class=""><strong>Kudou_Shinichi:</strong> .</span>
  </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>
    <span class=""><strong>Kudou_Shinichi:</strong> No.</span>
  </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>
    <span class=""><strong>Unknown_User_3:</strong> Please.</span>
  </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>
    <span class=""><strong>Kudou_Shinichi:</strong> With all due respect Furuya-san,</span>
  </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>
    <span class=""><strong>Kudou_Shinichi:</strong> You need a social life outside of work.</span>
  </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>
    <span class=""><strong>Unknown_User_3:</strong> You're telling me Akai Shuuichi doesn't count as work?</span>
  </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>
    <span class=""><strong>Rye:</strong> Considering that you're so dedicated to what you consider is work</span>
  </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>
    <span class=""><strong>Rye:</strong> I will take that as a compliment</span>
  </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>
    <span class=""><strong>Unknown_User_3:</strong> Ugh that's gross go back to America.</span>
  </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>
    <span class=""><strong>Undercover_Lesbian:</strong> Lmao</span>
  </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>
    <span class=""><strong>Unknown_User_3:</strong> And besides that why does that social group mostly consist of teenagers?</span>
  </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>
    <span class=""><strong>Hattori_Heiji:</strong> Probably cuz y'all act like emotionally constipated teenagers that never got over that edgy phase</span>
  </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>
    <span class=""><strong>Kudou_Shinichi:</strong> .</span>
  </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>
    <span class=""><strong>Unknown_User:</strong> .</span>
  </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>
    <span class=""><strong>Undercover_Lesbian:</strong> .</span>
  </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>
    <span class="">
      <strong>Unknown_User_3: .</strong>
    </span>
  </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>
    <span class="">
      <strong>Detective_Sitter_2:</strong>
    </span>
  </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>
    <span class=""><strong>Rye:</strong> .</span>
  </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>
    <span class=""><strong>Unknown_User_4:</strong> .</span>
  </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>
    <span class=""><strong>Unknown_User:</strong> .</span>
  </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>
    <span class=""><strong>Hakuba_Saguru:</strong> I look away and then come back to witness Hattori commit murder.</span>
  </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>
    <span class=""><strong>Hakuba_Saguru:</strong> Who is the third one btw?</span>
  </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>
    <span class=""><strong>Kudou_Shinichi:</strong> Well,</span>
  </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>
    <span class=""><strong>Hakuba_Saguru:</strong> That doesn't sound good.</span>
  </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>
    <span class=""><strong>Unknown_User_4:</strong> .</span>
  </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>
    <span class=""><strong>Unknown_User:</strong> Wait.</span>
  </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>
    <span class=""><strong>Unknown_User:</strong> Oh I think I know who this is</span>
  </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>
    <span class=""><strong>Unknown_User_4:</strong> .</span>
  </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>
    <span class=""><strong>Unknown_User_3:</strong> Oh.</span>
  </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>
    <span class=""><strong>Unknown_User:</strong> Hello Vermouth :)</span>
  </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>
    <span class="">[Unknown_User_4 has attempted to leave the group chat]</span>
  </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>
    <span class=""><strong>Hattori_Heiji:</strong> Why is that smile so threatening?!</span>
  </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>
    <span class=""><strong>Unknown_User:</strong> She knows what she did :)</span>
  </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>
    <span class=""><strong>Unknown_User_3:</strong> Wow</span>
  </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>
    <span class=""><strong>Unknown_User_3:</strong> I have never witnessed Vermouth try to run away from something before.</span>
  </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>
    <span class=""><strong>Unknown_User_4:</strong> Hello Kaitou KID.</span>
  </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p> </p>
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  <p>
    <span class=""><strong>Unknown_User:</strong> Are you alright with having her here? :)</span>
  </p>
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  <p> </p>
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  <p> </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>
    <span class=""><strong>Undercover_Lesbian:</strong> Oof that's spicy</span>
  </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p> </p>
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  <p> </p>
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  <p>
    <span class=""><strong>Kudou_Shinichi:</strong> She has proven that she wants the organization put down as much as we do.</span>
  </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p> </p>
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  <p> </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>
    <span class=""><strong>Kudou_Shinichi:</strong> If there are problems however we can settle for one on one discussions</span>
  </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p> </p>
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  <p> </p>
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  <p>
    <span class=""><strong>Unknown_User:</strong> Oh no,</span>
  </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>
    <span class=""><strong>Unknown_User:</strong> no problem at all,</span>
  </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>
    <span class=""><strong>Hattori_Heiji:</strong> he says,</span>
  </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>
    <span class=""><strong>Hattori_Heiji:</strong> While obviously having a problem.</span>
  </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p> </p>
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  <p>
    <span class=""><strong>Unknown_User:</strong> I was just concerned is all</span>
  </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>
    <span class=""><strong>Unknown_User:</strong> I DO so trust your judgement</span>
  </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>
    <span class=""><strong>Kudou_Shinichi:</strong> I can hear the threatening tone of voice through the text.</span>
  </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>
    <span class=""><strong>Unknown_User:</strong> Anyways it won't be a problem</span>
  </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>
    <span class="">[Unknown_User has signed off]</span>
  </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>
    <span class=""><strong>Detective_Sitter_2:</strong> So Vermouth,</span>
  </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>
    <span class=""><strong>Detective_Sitter_2:</strong> I DO so hope your address is secure</span>
  </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>
    <span class=""><strong>Unknown_User_4:</strong> Thank you for your concern Sherry it is secure enough.</span>
  </p>
  <p> </p>
  <p>
    <span class=""><strong>Detective_Sitter_2:</strong> A pity.</span>
  </p>
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